


My parents are better than yours

by ColorfulWarlock



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF!Parents, Blame Magnus for that, Chaotic kids, Crack, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Kids, M/M, Max has no filter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:22:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22310236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorfulWarlock/pseuds/ColorfulWarlock
Summary: What happens when you leave the kids of an iconic gang by themselves?Yup, chaos.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Comments: 30
Kudos: 144





	1. Chapter 1

“Dad is a Daylighter. The best vampire out there! He is strong, fast and knows all the Star Wars scenes.”

“Lame. My dad can easily kick his ass. Dad is the best Shadowhunter of the world and has angel blood! He is truly the best.”

“If your dad kicks my dad’s ass, then my mom will kick your dad’s ass. She is a queen who can kill any demon with 5-inch heels. And she alone killed Lilith, the Demon Mother.”

“Yeah, but our mommy can create runes, and yours not.”

“This is a waste of time. Of course papa and daddy are the best ones. Daddy is the best archer ever and always had to be strong to take care of your irresponsible daddies and mommies. He even banished a Greater Demon with just an arrow! And papa is the most powerful Warlock of the entire universe. He kicks everyone’s asses!”

Elaine, William and Lynne scowled at Max while Rafael just nodded, agreeing with his brother.

Hours ago, everything was fine with the five kids. They were at the Institute while their parents were out dealing with another rift and packs of demons.

Just a normal Thursday for the Shadow World.

Elaine Rosa Lightwood-Lewis was a 9-year old Werewolf, Simon and Izzy’s adopted daughter. Lynne Cordelia and William Gabriel Herondale-Fairchild, both 8 years old, were the Nephilim twins of Jace and Clary. Max Michael Lightwood-Bane, a 7-year old Warlock, and Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane, a 9-year old Nephilim, were Alec and Magnus’ adopted sons. They were all good friends and loved each other a lot.

Until an innocent spar at the Training Center sparked their competitiveness, beginning an endless comparison between their parents.

“Uncle Simon and Uncle Magnus are Downworlders, it doesn’t count.” Willian accused his cousins, thinking it was a good argument.

It wasn’t.

Elaine’s eyes turned a vibrant green and Max’s skin flashed blue. Both narrowed their eyes, scowling. Even Rafe scoffed, unamused.

“Got a problem with Downworlders?” Elaine deadpanned, gritting her teeth.

William was about to reply when Lynne smacked the back of his head, throwing a reproachful glare to him.

“Sorry…” He muttered, honestly being apologetic.

“Anyway,” Max resumed, smiling again while thinking about his parents. "Papa is really amazing. Better than anyone. Even daddy says that, and doesn’t care when papa outpowers him. He likes it.”

“By the Angel, this sounds wrong. Why does this sound wrong?” Will turned to his sister with big bulged eyes.

“Gross, Max.” Rafael snorted, but couldn’t hide the fondness in his voice. He was also really proud of Alec and Magnus.

“Our dad is stronger than death itself. He died and came back!” Lynne stated.

“Papa went to Hell a lot of times. Daddy went there to bring him back. Death is nothing for them.” Max insisted.

“My dad is already dead…” Elaine whispered, but everyone heard and ignored her.

“Well, mom killed the evilest Shadowhunter that has ever existed. She is a hero.”

“Valentine was your grandfather.” Rafe commented, scrunching his nose.

“Your grandfather is a Greater Demon, how is this better?” Lynne deadpanned, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I guess I’m the only one with normal and non-dangerous grandparents.” Elaine supplied, cheerfully.

The other four growled.

“What the hell is happening here?”

Their heads whipped so fast towards the Training Center’s entrance, it was a miracle they didn’t get whiplash. Their parents were there, already back from their mission. Jace, Clary and Izzy had smugly expressions, Simon was a bit confused, Alec had a big unimpressed scowl, and Magnus was grinning proudly.

“Fuck…” Max and Will muttered at the same time.

“Language!” Alec hissed, already feeling a throbbing headache. Magnus patted his shoulder, then turned to the kids.

“How did you know about all that about us?”

“Papa! Did you use the babysitter spell again to hear us talking?” Max groaned, throwing his arms on the air. He really needed to learn a counterspell before turning into a teenager.

Magnus just shrugged, not a little bit apologetic. Usually, he didn’t pay attention to what they discuss, but this time it perked his curiosity.

“So, there is this thing on the Internet called Dark Forum, and they talk a lot about all the famous people from the Shadow World.” Lynne explained, full of pride. “There are a lot of topics about how amazing and handsome you are, dad!”

All adults groaned, except Jace, who gave a thumbs-up to his daughter.

Then, hell broke loose again.

“Daddy would finish Uncle Jace in less than five minutes!”

“Mom would finish Uncle Alec and Uncle Jace in three!”

“Papa would beat everyone in just one minute, and without his magic!”

“Mommy would create a rune and finish you papa!”

“Dad will use all his references from the Fight Club and silence you all.”

The kids stopped their fight and glared at Elaine.

“Wow… What a K.O.” Simon murmured, being glared by his friends then.

“Well, there is just one way to finish this,” said Magnus, snapping his fingers and changing his outfit to a more comfortable one. “Let’s spar, Blondie.”

“Why me? Alec is right here.”

“I prefer to indulge Alexander to another activity, just the two of us.” Magnus winked to his husband, and some kids made gagging noises.

“Gross, papa!” Rafe and Max complained together.

“Mom, show them who is the best Shadowhunter!” Elaine exclaimed.

“Mommy, dad, kick Uncle Magnus’ ass!” Will asked.

“Daddy, put everyone on Ichor duty!”

“MAX, NO!”

Yup, it would be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, people! <3 It was supposed to be a oneshot, but it seems I don't have self-control. This one is shorter, but I hope you like it too ~ 
> 
> This one is for you, ralf XD

“Aha!” Will got up while slamming his hands on the table, calling everyone’s attention. “Found it.” He smiled mischievously, turning around the laptop and showing the discussion thread he was following.

Rafe, Max, Lyn, and Elaine got closer, neglecting their own devices.

“What exactly did you find? There are over 100 comments there.”

“I found the bane of your daddy’s perfection, dear Max.”

“Dude, what a terrible pun.” Rafael scoffed, narrowing his eyes to his cousin.

“Anyway, look at user IAmNotRaj20’s comment. He said that uncle Alec _demanded_ to be turned into a Vampire to go to Edom and save uncle Magnus. This is the stupidest thing a person could do.” Will smiled like a predator, satisfied for finally finding something against the Inquisitor.

“I agree, dad would be a terrible Sire,” Elaine nodded, pushing her glasses up her nose.

“And what’s the problem? He needed to save papa!”

“It’s irresponsible. He can’t say my dad, mom, auntie Izzy and uncle Simon are irresponsible. He is the worst! User ReyTheBest also said that uncle Alec made a deal with a Greater Demon and broke uncle Magnus’ heart. He was mean!”

“Yeah, grandpa is the worst and broke our parents, but just because they are two self-sacrificing romantic fools.” Rafael huffed. Every time he heard about that story, he felt like glaring at his papa and daddy. They are so dumb!

“At least it was an act of love. They didn’t break up for thinking they were siblings.” Max teased, pointing to the screen of his own cellphone. “It was a huge gossip.”

Lynne and William gasped.

“That’s not fair! Valentine lied to them!” Lyn crossed her arms on her chest and puffed her cheeks.

“And he is your grandfather, so that’s also not fair to mention Asmodeus!” Max puffed his cheeks too and got up, trying to look taller like his daddy.

“Poor you,” Elaine murmured, shaking her head. “Oh, book club!” 

All four turned their heads towards her.

“An user called MotherNature said they used to be part of uncle Jace’s book club. I didn’t know he liked to read!”

“Of course he likes! He is the best!” Will maintained the proud tone in his voice, still glaring at his cousins. “And we have a PowerPoint with over 200 slides of why dad is the best Shadowhunter in the world!”

Max, Rafe, and Elaine groaned, strongly refusing to see that.

“Uncle Simon wasn’t in a book club too? He dated auntie Clary and auntie Maia.”

“Auntie Maia was in both book clubs?”

“Well, auntie Clary was too.”

"I bet my mom had her own book club. She is a badass."

“They really liked to read.”

“Wait, didn't uncle Magnus have one too? He is so old, he must have dated thousands of people!”

“By the Angel, shut up. Stop talking about who dated who.” Rafe groaned louder, feeling grumpier than before. “Let’s… I don’t know, let’s check that poll. How are the results at this moment?”

Three days ago, they started a poll at the Dark Forum asking which Lightwood sibling was the best looking. Most of the time, it was almost a tie.

“Hmm… Pretty much the same.” Elaine hummed, navigating through the screen. “Uncle Jace is just 2% ahead of uncle Alec and mom.”

“Yeah!” Will and Lynne fist-bumped, proud.

“Wait!” Elaine’s eyes bulged suddenly, and she turned the screen to the others. “Look at this!”

Out of the blue, Alec’s bar started running, his numbers increasing by each second. 

“What? Is it a bug?”

Max scrolled down, finding a new comment posted just seconds ago.

**From Anonymous: Pretty Boy ;D**

Max and Rafe shared an unimpressed look and then shouted.

“PAPA, STOP CHEATING!”

A blue spark that was floating behind them blinked a few times, as if it was laughing, and then flicked out of existence.

Then, they started discussing who had the best fashion game – Izzy or Magnus –, and the flame reignited all over again.


End file.
